Here’s to 2013

Posted by on Jan 13, 2013 in Admin, Blog | 0 comments

I woke up this morning and realized that we’re almost halfway through the month. It doesn’t feel like that much time has passed since the first week of the year was spent dealing with the brunt of the flu. I had hoped to start the year off running. There were parties that would allow me to see friends, a decent work schedule planned, and other appointments that are best done as early in the year as possible. But, alas, all these plans had to be reshuffled and this past week has been my first full week back in motion.

As I’ve stepped through each day, I’m grateful to be back on my feet. Granted, the Godzilla-like cough I’ve hung onto has been a real thrill in the middle of my massage appointments. But, luckily, my clients understand that I wouldn’t come in if I were still contagious. Everything else that’s happened, though, reminds me of being in a boat canoeing down the river: There’s a light current that takes me here and there, but nothing I can’t control with a little effort.

As I was piecing my way through a yoga class this morning, the teacher was talking about how it’s around this time of the year that New Year’s Resolutions fall apart and I thought to myself, “Did I make any this year?” There’s always the obvious things: lose weight, work harder, perfect my French. But when I thought about how I dealt with things last year, I realize that I needed to tweak my approach.

Last year was about being in uncomfortable territory. I had started my private practice in late 2011 and was still at the stage where there were large gaps of open time. I had just gotten married and while I wanted to enjoy myself, too much of me was aware of how my honeymoon and visit to my in-laws during the summer was going to impact my finances. While I need pockets of alone time, I found myself missing the community of working in a group and feeling connected with the world. Facebook is great, but it’s no substitute for every day face-to-face interactions. I realized that I needed to build some solutions.

So I plunged into the year with a vengeance. Making plans, building deadlines, and driving myself frigging crazy. Every moment had to be spent doing something constructive. Building a website with my sister, Christine? Done. Investing in Rosetta Stone and other workbooks to jumpstart my French education? Done. Researching ways to do more freelance graphic design work? Done. Maybe I’ll go work in Starbucks today. Maybe I’ll go work in the public library. The list goes on and on…I was a bit of a maniac.

It wasn’t until the latter part of the year that I learned that all the planning and pushing wasn’t going to lead me to where I necessarily wanted (and, sometimes, the disappointments were a real bop on the nose). If it led me anywhere, it was to the point where I needed to let go of my expectations, to have a little faith. It also helped me realize that the constantly morphing state of my affairs had become the new normal. So go jiggle the handle on that new venture and if nothing happens, move on. Keep working on those things that fill you up and enjoy the victories that come with it because they do exist in the middle of the disappointments.

So what’s going to be different about 2013? It’s going to be about being a little kinder to myself and keeping up with that notion of faith. The fiery need I felt to achieve last year is giving way to a desire to fall in love again. To fall in love with learning once more, to savor every day instead of blowing through it like a bag of chocolate chip cookies. To stop being such a maniac and remember that you gotta have those moments of rest too. I’m not an organized religion kind of a person, but I do have my occasional confabs with the G-O-D and hope that if I let go a little, I might end up a lot more satisfied. It’s not to say that I’m going to stop working hard and reaching for the things I want. It’s just to say that I’m aiming at getting more pleasure out of it. After a great workweek that’s included visits with friends, an amazing concert with violinist, Julian Rachlin, and a few stabs at working out, I’d say that I’m doing a pretty good job at it. Here’s to 2013! May we ALL get a lot more pleasure out of this year.

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